October 06, 2020

Why Boundaries Matter and How to Improve Your Self-confidence

Why Boundaries Matter and How to Build Your Self-Confidence.

“If you wish to be the king of the jungle,

It’s not enough to act like a king. 

You must be the one & only king. 

Sadly there can be no room for any form of doubt. 

Because doubt causes chaos that leads to one’s own demise

-From The Movie Gentlemen.

Can you picture the king of the jungle, The Lion asking its food, The Deer, permission to eat it?

Hi, I am the king of the jungle do you fancy being my dinner tonight?


Imagine the wonders we could do in our lives if we truly and fully believed in ourselves.

Most of us should be arrested for those things we tell ourselves. Sigh* (actually this should be made into a thing, like literally)


This tip I am about to share should do wonders in building your self-confidence, it help you be the king of the jungle, jungle here being your environment.


Have boundaries.

You will have to learn the habit of addressing every nitty-gritty issues in your life. 

Anything that constantly bothers you needs to be tackled head on and that is as soon as practically possible.


Those stuffs you treat as minute, tiny, oh! it is ok it will go away. Oh! it doesn’t matter…

…and opt to ignore ,pushing it at the back of your mind…

NEWSFLASH! It tends to build up, eventually.

It totally matters. Everything matters.


It is not fair on you neither is it fair on the people around you.


This basically means you should not tolerate negative remarks from people. This also means you should deal with those subtle digs right there and then. Be what it may.

Any confident person, or “big” person never tolerates or puts up with unpleasant behaviour from others. It is as simple as that.

Put boundaries in place and see yourself keeping clean and crispy relationship and hence upping your confidence.

Now notice how much you have been putting up with in the name of being “nice” and/or playing “the good boy/girl”. 


Boundaries are good and healthy for your self-esteem and personal growth.

Put them in place and watch yourself transform.

If you do end up losing some people, friends/family whatnot then it only means they were your energy drain. They are better off leaving.


Write down the things you have been tolerating in others and start working on them. 


Good luck and let me know how it felt.



Nicolle Hanselmann.


Ps: Would you like to know how to approach and handle boundaries without losing face? 

Subscribe never to miss out. 

Photo credits: Hush Naidoo on unsplash.

Ref: Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner.

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois P. Frankel.

Related Posts


  1. Nicolle Hanselmann
    6 October, 2020

    Would like to hear your experience.

  2. Kelvin Mbugua
    7 October, 2020

    WOW – This is really deep …

    • Nicolle Hanselmann
      7 October, 2020

      We tend to keep things we shouldn’t and wonder why we procrastinate it stems from the ignoring the petty.

    • Mary Ndirangu
      7 October, 2020

      I also enjoyed this article especially the phrase, “It’s not enough to act like a king.

      You must be the one & only king. “

  3. Paul
    7 October, 2020


    • Mary Ndirangu
      7 October, 2020

      Brilliant article its really like awakening…

      “Anything that constantly bothers you needs to be tackled head on and that is as soon as practically possible.”

Leave a Reply