November 27, 2020
How to Create Your Reality Using Your Personality-Mental Health
Today, let us learn some basic tools that will change your life.
It doesn’t take a genius to establish that I am big on mental health. Your health is your number one wealth.
My question for you, Ever wondered why we don’t hear a lot of the “big public figures” opening up about their struggles unless they have ‘beaten it’?
Stigma…
That is problem.
It is Okay
NOT
to be Okay
Not so long ago we heard Prince Harry opening up to the world, about his own struggles that were related very closely to losing his mum as a little boy.
You may also remember the news about the comedian who took his own life? A person who cracked people’s ribs moreso mine.
Our Robin Williams was a legend, incidentally, he could make everyone else laugh but himself.
The other extreme example I will give is of Carol Flack, absolutely shocking.
Carol had the most beautiful laugh, and beautiful clothes, she was a stunner, hosted amazing shows but had skeletons in the cupboard, hidden right in front of our screens.
Now keep that thought with you for a moment, we have mentioned a comedian, the Prince, actors… we also have doctors too. The point is, anyone is susceptible to a breakdown but the judgement and stigma is the problem until it is too late.
Many people continue to fight a good fight. Albeit behind closed curtains, we only get to know of it when it has come to pass.
We are currently digesting the “hottest news” about Megan, Duchess of Sussex, who opened up to the public about her miscarriage. What a brave and courageous act. Miscarriages are linked to couples mental health and the sustainability of the relationship. A lot of couples go through such a tough time in silence and have to pretend to be ok or it never occurred. One possible by-product is depression.
What I am saying? I simply wish that we lived in a world where anyone could be vocal about their struggles regardless of their status, or lack of it thereof, without prejudice.
A lot of us would relate to the struggles and hence say things like,
“Wow! If the president shared their mental struggle then who am I to hide mine, why should I struggling on my own?”
Resilience…
Jada P. Smith mentioned at some point how she believed the key to happiness is to create emotional independence ( emotional strength, or resilience as some may call it) in the face of tough situations. She had learned how to work through some difficult emotions without needing to talk to a friend or speak to her husband or even get advice from outside sources.
For me, this is a struggle very close to my heart and I can relate to it totally. I fully empathise with anyone going through that right now.
At one point in my life I became so strong that I never needed anyone.
Back in 2010 thereabouts, a lot of tough lessons got thrown my way. By the time I made it to my GP for help, it was almost too late. She immediately gave me 6 weeks off work, with a possible extension.
In her words “I have never seen someone cry this much, you have been through so much”
I got the time off work in the grounds of ‘low moods and high stress’ (as that was all I asked to be written on my work letter)
I was one step from depression, a place that is so hard to come out of once one gets in.
Those 6 weeks that were given to me, were based on my personal preference of not choosing the medications way. I also promised to get myself better, ASAP. My GP really wanted to do more, but was hopeless, she had to respect my wishes as her patient. She then recommended some suitable meet-up groups of similar interests and other alternatives.
(By the way, It important to know that it is ok to need medications. We all have different capacities of handling stuffs. Please listen to your doctor)
Friends and family…
As a self-professed resilient person, people expected so much from me. I remember when I went to deliver the news to my boss and my co-workers’ initial reaction was to laugh it off. Most of them automatically assumed that I must be taking some sort of advantage of some sorts, and/or maybe just making a mountain out of a mole hill.
So much for work banters that dig deep.
Anyway, I can gladly say that I now know better and that is in the past now.
I genuinely believe, there is nothing weak or wrong about talking through a difficult situation with friends/family, life coaches, and/or therapists.
In fact, it is something that should highly be encouraged. Though there may be a limit to how much you should rely on friends and family. Only because, as much as they mean well, and want the best for you, they may lack professional training and tools or ability to help.
Hence best to reach out to the professionals. Whatever you do, the most important thing is not to go it alone when facing a difficult emotional situation or loss.
Mental Agility
Here are some tools that could help. They will help you develop your mental agility.
But remember this is not substitute for professional advice.
1.Meditate
Joe Dispenza’s basic tools that could change your life:
- When you invest in yourself you invest in your future.
- Take sometime out of your busy life to disconnect from your world, turn your gadgets off, sit your body down for a few minutes, close your eyes.
- Take some breathe to centre yourself. When you centre your intention into present moment you have more energy to create your future. When you are the present moment you become more creative.
- Ask yourself, Can I be defined by the envisions of the future instead the memory of the past? What do I want in my life?
- When you begin to think about the answers to the questions you are changing your brain. Creating new patterns and new combinations which is the beginning steps to changing your life
- Define on the emotions you feel when you begin to create your future. Teach your body emotionally what that future will be like, and don’t get up until you feel those emotions.
- Rehearse in your mind, who you will be when u open your eyes. Repeat them over and over again. Things you will have to do, the choices you have to make, the steps you have to make…
- You can’t go to the future holding on to the biology of your past. Decide what thoughts you want to take (or not take ) with you to the future. Leave thoughts like “I can’t” “ I will never change”
- Decide what emotions don’t belong to you. Decide on the emotions you want to take with you to the future. You can’t take emotions like insecurities and fear into the future.
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Your personality creates your personal reality and your personality begins with how think how you act and how you feel.
2. Eat well and exercise. Simply put, we are what we eat.
3. Seek help. It is ok not to be okay. Talk to friends and visit a professional.
4. Have something to look forward to everyday.
5. Surrounding yourself with things that bring you joy, including people.
Remember we are here when you need someone to talk to. Check our other articles on mental wellbeing.
Goodluck
©nicollehanselmann 2020
